Paris Voice November 2002 Wine bars winners

Well, think I had better start researching where to drink Wine in Paris........and from what I read you can get good food there also. So I must drink a bit of wine each night until I am 'hardened' since I rarely drink.

Dean, Paris dreaming

Divorce Support: Ask the Divorced Guy!

Last night I had a strange dream. My ex-wife,my present wife (Yoly) and I were all living in the same house. The house had a nice swimming pool with an ice maker and a diet coke spigot by it. My ex-wife announced she was pregnant. Immediately I told her that it wasn't mine; it was Patrick's. I don't know who Patrick is..ha ha....So I called my ex today to tell her the story. She told me "Well, wish it was true because having had a hysterectomy 18 years ago it would make medical science." Strange connections our dreams have. I was always pleasantly surprised when my wife would become pregnant. Each kid was a gift because we were told that we wouldn't have kids...laying on the sofa with a new baby on my chest was a gift. Suppose I miss it sometimes but then I also remember the sick kids,etc. Maybe my mind is trying to keep me in touch with the importance of being a father,at whatever the age.

Dean

Lost in Translation

another side of myself I didn't know




I went and saw "Lost in Translation", the new movie
with Bill Murray. In it he portrays a washed up movie
actor who is doing whiskey ads in Japan for $2
million. He is in a 25 year marriage that has been
reduced to her asking him if he likes the burgundy
carpet or not. He meets a 25 year old girl who is
there with her husband who is a rock photographer but
is sort of abandoned due to his busy schedule.

to me the basic question asked by this movie was
complex. a 2 year marriage (like hers) or a 25 year
marriage (like his) can go sour. The hole in your
gut,unless filled with something is immense. It also
showed how tough traveling is...the endless nites of
jetlag when you are an international traveler,the
bars,the restaurants eating by yourself. You become an
expert at making friends quickly because otherwise you
are alone..sushi alone is no fun.

I won't ruin the movie for you but basically I
understand what they were saying. I never thought of
my 20 years on the road selling eggs as 'painful' but
in retrospect it was. I was one lonely bastard. That
is why I built such a network of friends worldwide I
suppose. You would call home and your wife would tell
you in 2-3 minutes the issues at home (Rachel won't
eat, Josh is hitting people at preschool, Liz has
stuck a crayola up her nose) and then you would try to
share what was happening but it felt hollow. I realize
now that it was damaging to me and enlightening at the
same time. My marriage ended,perhaps due to the
travel,who knows....my kids know me as the guy with
the suitcase.

I am lucky...Yoly loves me and I love her...but I
wonder if we would have survived if I was still living
the life I did as the world hopping eggman. It is hard
to maintain the intimacy of a marriage over the
telephone.

The movie was an eye opener....I had immense emotion
when I came out of it but can't capture it
exactly..just know it opened some old wounds in me.

Dean